Once upon a time, a Fearless Fellowship Leader and her 7 merry long-term fellows went, hi-ho, off to work. They wrote, thought, cogitated, wrote some more, followed their minds, and then wrote even more lovely academic prose. They had almost nothing in common, except for a  passion for the history of chemistry. And thus, driven by intoxicating thoughts about all things atomic and alchemical, they led a pleasant if somewhat busy life. The days were long, and their fingers soon became sore from their tireless (yet strangely tiring) dance on the computer keyboard. But then, something wonderful happened . . .

From Lucy Rider Meyer, Real Fairy Folks: Explorations in the World of Atoms (1887). Photo by Gregory Tobias.

All right, the fellowships at CHF may be considered enchanting by some—but, my dear readers, the reality—What do you say? Continue with the story? All right then, here goes.

A long, long time ago, each of the fellows had decided to make his or her way toward Academia, a fair city in a land far, far away. In Academia, the trees brought forth prizes and medals, the rivers overflowed with peer praise, and the roads were paved with clever students. The local railroad in Academia went straight down the tenure track. So, when the fellows met at CHF, they were happy to share part of the way with fellow-fellows. Their tea parties were punctuated by laughter, chemical stories, and ever more wonderful accounts of Academia and its perks.

And it goes on like that. You know the drill: Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.

The fellows encountered many fabulous people and creatures on their journey: there was Goldiprof, the professor who could never find a graduate student who was smart enough but not too smart. Another time they met Hinderella, the lady professor who would not let her doctoral student finish (and somehow always wore mismatched shoes). Among the students they came across was Singrad the Sailor who traveled from conference to conference (his audience fell asleep with his 1,001st slide). And Weeping Beauty, the girl who realized she was not cut out for Academia, but married a prince who owned a house in one of its suburbs, and they lived happily ever after.

Will our fellows make it to Academia?

Time will tell. And if time is out, I will. Or maybe not: there is a time for bad puns, and a time to be serious. Seriously: if you would like to live happily ever after, and to be a CHF fellow, then check out our fellowship competition. Deadline: 15 February. Sprinkling fairy dust or eating fairy cakes will not influence the outcome of the competition.